Last week I grabbed a bite at Subway after swimming at the gym. While I was ordering my sandwich there was a great deal of noise coming from the back room. A heated debate started between a manager (maybe the owner) and an employee. It wasn’t fun to overhear the discussion and really left the employee helping me feel all sorts of weird. He grinned and made some remark about how grade school things sounded in the back room. About ten seconds later a woman was seen running away with a very disgusted look on her face. She obviously won’t be working at that Subway anytime soon.
This reminds me of my many job changes through my life. I’ve had numerous jobs and the vast majority have led to friendly departures. However, not all were tolerable. The worst one that comes to mind was a crap retail job I worked for about two days. It was a very small deli in a touristy part of a Seattle suburb. I was hired to work alongside the owner and his wife, I think they had maybe two or three employees tops. I was to replace a woman they loved like a daughter and I was a boy.
The owner happened to be one of the least friendly people I have ever met. Customers weren’t to take pictures inside his establishment. And, not only were they not to take photos, but I wasn’t allowed to give directions to a neighboring restroom. A woman, a potential customer, strolled into the business and had to use the bathroom. I politely told her we didn’t have one, but started to point her in the direction of a public bathroom. She had her daughter with her and it seemed pretty urgent. The crazed owner only heard me offering directions to the bathroom and lost it. He humiliated me in front of the woman and told me to never give out restroom information again. That’s fine, I grimmaced to myself. If he feels he can treat me and a customer like that, I don’t want to work for him. I untied my apron and bolted before I got sucked into this evil man’s vortex. Happily the business closed down less than a year after I gallantly stuck it out for two glorious shifts. I honestly believe the man was on some sort of witness relocation plan.
….and there was also a shitty cold calling job where I decided not to show up the next day. I was young and figured they could deal with one less fool trying to sucker folks. So, this leads me to my point. What are some of your dramatic "I Quit Stories" you want to share? Bonus points if you threw stuff or dropped the f bomb.
The worst job I ever had was selling cemetary plots. You would not believe how cold and munipulative you have to be to sell cemetary plots. I did it for 2 wks.
Cake Lady – would you categorize your exit as “graceful” or not?
The only job I ever quit was picking berries as a kid, 10 or 11.
That is some crap work right there.
I worked a short day and didn’t come back.
No impressive fire works, sorry, but gave me a life long appreciation for field workers.
Thank you illegal immagrants for cheap produce, I salute you!
The most unbelievable idiocy I’ve had to endure from a boss is when I worked for a crappy Levi’s retailer in the mall in WI. Shortly after getting the job my father was diagnosed with terminal cancer and I made plans to leave Madison immediately to help care for him. My boss’s reaction when I told her the news: An incredulous glare and “You can’t work for two more weeks?” I would chalk it up to the fact that she was young (maybe just a couple years older than me at that point…24ish) but I know two year olds with more decency than that. No, she was just a flippin’ bitch.
I worked for an insurance company, which will remain nameless, but the job was absolutely soul-sucking. Data Entry all day long, in a cubicle, with no radio or anything, for 2 years. We had to CHECK OUT office supplies, for fuck’s sake.
Needless to say, I suffered a nervous breakdown, and ended up coming into the office late one night, packing up my personal belongings, stealing a bunch of office supplies and took a picture of my middle finger and left it on my boss’s desk with “I QUIT. XOXOX LIBBY” written on it.
Needless to say, I do not have car insurance with these people. I know how they operate.
The worst job I’ve ever had was working as an accountant for a floundering civil enforcement agency (to the common folk, they are bailiffs that come to serve you papers and or take away your possessions that you own b/c of lack of payment)… now, the work was fine. i’ve been an accountant for AAAAAGESSS and it was pretty simple, really, but the people i worked for were completely intolerable religious nuts. my boss was a 35 year old virgin with a scorching case of herpes (simplex 2)… GROSS… when it came time to “leave” i had already been planning a move down to california and the opportunity for an exit presented itself. the company was almost broke. they could barely afford to pay it’s employees, nevermind their own expenses. we had all sorts of service companies calling us requesting payment and i had to field all of these phone calls and let them know when they could get paid their THOUSANDS of dollars owed. meanwhile, they couldn’t really care less about the financial mess they were in. the owner was a lawyer, and a BAD one @ that. they came from “old” money and i think he just enjoyed playing the part of LLB and not actually doing any work. in addition, the herpes-virgin was his sister. so, knowing all of their financial stuff i was more than prepared for the series of lay-offs that were coming. there were a few people in a sister-office in another city that were laid off, then one person in our office. next, it was me. that friday, when i was taken into the “meeting room” and told they were letting me go i just nodded and smiled. after “Rash Queen” left i made one five minute phone call (no exaggeration) to an employment agency that had placed me at various temp positions prior to me getting the gig @ the LDS corral. I walked out of the meeting room 5 minutes after being laid off and had another job already lined up for monday morning (to hold me over until my move state-side) and i was not AT ALL about telling my current employer (incidently, it was paying me $2/hr more than my job at the time). that was way better and more satisfying than any f-bomb could ever do!!! so yah, novella later, that’s my story. oh, and to be sure, the guy who’s name the company sported was laid off a year later from his own company that he help to found. the company no longer exists and it is frightfully scary knowing that Rash Queen could possibly be making little Rash Babies… Yech!
/Vera
i was a monkey on this french speaking blog, like where you learn a french word a day…
then someone dropped the E bomb* and i had to go.
*E-bomb = Egan
word.
Logo – berry picking is shit work. I would never be able to do that for more than two straight days. Too bad the illegals didn’t teach you how to spell. I’m eagerly awaiting your next quiz.
L – wow, that’s a bitchy boss for sure. Aw, can’t cancer just wait a couple weeks?
Libby – I know exactly which company you’re talking about based on where you live. I had a bad experience with them when I was younger. Check out supplies? That’s bullshit.
Vera – I think you and Rash Queen should do a round of shots together. It would be fantastic for the soul.
Johnny DC – very funny mon ami, very funny. I am still torn about whether or not to bring back the French blog. We’ll see.
I worked for an independently owned Haagen-Dazs in high school and the owner was a hideous human being who used to…
* fistfight with his son in the alley behind the store
* generally not pay employees until we stalked him — and if he did, he’d pay us in cash out of the register
* BE INSANE
I quit when he wouldn’t give me a day off to go to the funeral of a good friend of mine. I believe I said, “I don’t need this shit” and walked out the door.
My sister quit by Post-it note after I dared her to. }:-)
Sandra – please tell me this guy doesn’t own a business anymore. What a major cocksucker. I’m glad you told it to him in that manner.
Tall Chick – I love it. What color were the Post-It™ notes?
I took a job in a recording studio, which I thought would gewt me a foot in the door (I was semi-young, and some odd combination of naive and brain dead).
Well, I showed up on day 1 and it turned out to be a data entry job in what appeared to be a data entry sweat shop. I worked the morning and asked if I could take an early lunch at 11. I left and never returned.
Chris – you the man. I love this type of story. What does it matter right? It’s not like you’re going to put the four hours on your resumé. Ha, I should post about all the jobs that don’t show on a resumé.
Those are great quitting stories. Mine did actually involve the F-bomb. It was at one of the hotels I worked at. I was the sales secretary & the sales director was the biggest wench in the planet. Anyway, when I gave my 2 week notice that I was leaving & going to a competing hotel, she went off on me and said how much she hated me and that I wasn’t going to make it and so on and so forth. So, my Italian genes kicked in & I went off on her and called her a “fucking whackjob” & that I was sick of her shit and that my two week notice had now just turned into a one day notice and that I wouldn’t be coming back to work for her and that I didn’t care what kind of reference she gave me because no one was going to care what a bitch like her had to say anyway. She got in trouble by the General Manager when he found out what she said to me (I told him about it later).
I’ve never quit anything in a suitably dramatic way. Darnit.
Though one of my friends who managed a video store, just decided to put a sign on the window that said “Blockbuster, down the street, will appreciate your patronage”, lock up, and leave, mid-day.
Whoa, L. I remember that store in Madison. But it was a long time ago. I can’t remember if it was in Eastowne or Westowne. Probably Eastowne, cuz we didn’t often go to Westowne, but I just can’t remember for sure.
Amanda – I really wonder how these stupid people ever think they can work customer service jobs. They obviously don’t have “people skills”. I love the reference bit. It’s exactly how I felt about mine.
Jill – that’s a pretty good story from your friend. I’m sure the customers and co-workers loved it. There are days when I dream up how I would leave a shitty job. Now I’m married to a woman named Moor Gidge and can’t do that.
Tall Chick – L has told me all about you. Beware! I have my Madison connections.
My older sister and I worked at coffee shops owned by the same freakshow of a boss (I was uptown, she was downtown). He hired some jackass to be the manager. I gave my two weeks notice the day before the uptown shop went tits up. The manager freaked and asked me if he was the reason I was quitting. The more irate he got, the calmer I got. He almost lost his mind.
Beulah, however, was not born with that particular microchip in her hard drive. When said wanker manager moved to the downtown store (before it went tits up), she lasted only a few shifts before she yelled ‘Fuck YOU!’ during a rush, THREW HER KNIVES, and stormed out of the shop… never to return again.
Ah. Good times.
Man…I’ve never worked myself up to a drama queen exit and, looking back and refreshing my righteous anger at various horrid employers, I wish I had stormed out. I handled the first decade of my working life with a sad kind of learned helplessness. Even when I was getting paid $5 an hour to CLEAN UP DOG SHIT (and to clean out the MAGGOTS IN THE DOG SHIT BUCKET) AND my boss was a total dickweed, I couldn’t muster a proper storming out.
good for you for leaving that aweful boss! i have done a similar thing myself in my younger years. there is NO need to put up with being treated like crap!
I once worked for two whole days at Applebees. I quit over the phone after enduring the training program. (Um, it’s physically impossible for me to be that jazzed up about an appetizer. And screw singing a birthday song with other unwilling participants.) But I can’t say I have truly awful boss stories akin to yours…
I heard through the blogvine you’re gonna be too busy soon to be hosting a third blog, Papa.
Hey, Tall Chick – I think they had an East Towne store, too. But I worked at the one in West Towne. Still, that didn’t protect me from the farmer who came in his overalls told me and this Korean guy who worked there that it was cute that brother and sister were able to get jobs together. Hi! I’m Chinese!
it’s a shame that part of the settlement was that i was required not to ever repeat the story otherwise it’ll be wildly amusing for everyone.
Janice – who the hell can’t control their temper enough to hold back from yelling “fuck you” during the middle of a rush? Again, someone with zero people skills working in customer service. I love it.
Jeci – what the heck were you doing for a living? I had a very brief job where I removed cigarette butts from recepticles. No maggots though. Maggots are gross and remind me of Poltergeist.
Celeste – yeah, verbal abusing customers and co-workers is NOT a good way to operate a business dependant on customers. I made sure I told everyone how shitty that owner was and it sure did pay off.
Jess R – Applebees eh? ah, I can’t imagine the excitement surrounding onion rings and birthday cheers. Cheerleader progression: high school cheer, Applebees summer job, college cheer, Hooters, and then local strip club. Ah, life is so simple.
L – what’s this talk of a third blog and “papa”? Who have you been talking to? Are you for real? Damn discrimination (or complete lack of a brain) can be humiliating. How the hell did you handle the farmer?
Treespotter – hey, are you Treespotter McNabb? Oh, my point is who really knows who you are? Post anonymously if you must or create a fake name. Only I will know your IP address. Damn, this must be a great story or you’ve created unnecessary hype.
I had a semi-drama queen exit in high school. I worked at The Limited at a local mall. When my boss wouldn’t give me a Satuday off (or even let me jsut switch shifts) to, get this…take the SATs, I lost it. I told her I was sorry she was never going to amount to anything, but that I had no intention of working in this godforsaken store the rest of my life. Upon handing her my name tag, I walked out.
Years later, after I’d been admitted to law school, I was actually in the store again and saw her still working there. I don’t think she recognized me, but I got a good chuckle out of it myself.
My sister doesn’t like people. That said, she worked at Hallmark for 8 years.
Hahahaha. She’s the first to admit she has zero people skills. Her coworkers love her, but hum the Darth Vader theme when they sense she’s in a bad mood.
I’m much more outgoing. I have an extremely long fuse, but a very explosive temper.
It’s apparently fun to watch me blow up.
I was working at this pizza place in Atlanta when I was in college, mostly counter work. But I was also a driver and made better money when doing so.
For three night in a row, I was scheduled to deliver and the owner was supposed to cook and run the counter. He called the first two nights and told me to stay inside because he had made plans and his brother came in and delivered.
He tried that on the third night, a good money-making Friday night, and I told him that would give him thirty minutes to get there and work inside because I was going home.
He got there and I handed him my apron and keys and I walked out.
But Inetta the Mood Setta had the best resignation ever!
Your French Word of the Day blog. Anita’s spawning (heh heh) rumors of Frere Egan.
Curare_Z – holy crap, she was still working in retail all those years later? Not that retail is awful, but based on how she treated you… I can’t believe she still got paid. Perhaps she attended some Anger Management courses.
Janice – watch you blow up eh? That sounds like a challenge since you have a long wick. I love challenges. Hmm.
Flounder – you made my day with that link. I heard an audio clip of that on our local radio station. I love her resignation. It was awesome and to the point.
L – salut mon amie! Ca va? Anita? Qui est Anita? Oh, that third blog. You scared me as if I was on Montel and someone said “Egan, you ARE the father”.
I worked as a trash collector a long time ago during college. We had a buy out seven months into my employment. It was the infamous Kingston clan (polygamists). We did many things to sabatoge the route for them. Just one fun tid bit, we hid some shaving cream cans in the packer. Some hillbilly got creamed for sure!
The Grunt – polygamists? You’re kidding right? Why would polygamists buy a trash collecting service? Oh, don’t answer that. It makes sense the more I think about it.
I hate confrontations. I would have felt uncomfortable too.
I quit a job over the phone, after working only one shift in a coffee shop. It was TERRIBLE.
The guy who trained me cured me of a two-year crush I’d had on him by dropping acid while he was training me. Add to that, he gingerly pulled giant COCKROACHES out of food (rather than start with a clean, cockroach free food) and served it to customers.
I got fired for my blog.. I told them to shove it..
thats it..
Peek – this is something I have added to my blog notes about you. Thanks for the update.
Pants – no, say it ain’t so. People don’t really do that do they? I worked in restaurants for years and never saw any weird shit added to food. Acid on the job sounds like a great way to further one’s career.
Roxi – fired for a blog? You mean you got Egan’ed? I’m going to start a blog about my kids* and plaster it with pictures of them on every other post.
*if I had any kids
I was 19 and out on my own for the first time and trying to work 2 jobs. One of them was a cook for Dairy Queen. The manager was a real dirtball. One day in paticular he was leering at me and cornered me in the walk-in fridge. I elbowed my way out and back to the grill without getting felt up. (it was 1979 folks) He was standing really close behind me and filling half orders and rubbing up against me when I totally lost it. It was lunch hour rush and people standing in line and I turned around and called him a pervert and ripped my dairy queen shirt off and threw it in his face and told him to go Fuck himself ! As I stomped out of the restaurant people actually clapped
Im not sure if it was for me telling him off or the fact I had a really cute bra on
kim hearts egan
Kim – wow, that’s a brazen exit from a shitty job. It’s great when customers get involved with this sort of thing. Oh to be young again where I could leave in grand fashion like you did. Hey, did your bra say “Kim hearts Egan”? Oh, you were making a snarky remark. I got it.
Kim does heart Egan
… but Im pretty sure the bra was plain …its was pre Victorias Secret era. ooohhh but maybe just maybe it was Fredricks of Hollywood bra….
OMG Egan, I had forgotten how great it was. The Post-it’s were flaming pink. The massage was
“Quitting work to be a rock star.”
dammit – message, not massage
Kim – wow, I have an adoring fan. Love is such a strong word Kim. I will make sure my wife doesn’t read this deep in the comments. Damn lingerie!
Candace – pink Post-It™ send a strong massage. As in, you like it hard, but not too rough. Shit, I got to get the massage comment out of my mind.
Candace – your typing skills need improvement.
lol tell your wife its the friendly kind of hearting, I promise .. kim hearts egan isnt the same as kim wants to do egan in the glass elevator at Harveys Casino in Lake Tahoe
Kim – this has been noted. I will pass this along to my lovely wife. Harvey’s eh? I hear Tahoe is nice.
Tahoe is great fun … beautiful place to ski and relax and fun to go gambling and elevatoring in
Kim – I want to get down there sometime. I did a little research on the area for a forestry project in college. It looks amazing and I’m not a gambler so it’s perfect.
My worst job was for a police department in Michigan. I worked directly for the chief as his admin, and he was the most gruff, tactless, cruel and spiteful man I’ve ever met. He would literally LOOK for things people did wrong so he could humiliate you in front of everyone else. He LOVED demoting people. I think he got off on it. The tension in the entire department was palpable. When I started circulating a resume to leave he heard a rumor about what I was doing, and he actually THREATENED me! I left that same day, and thankfully was hired by my next employer later that same week.
Evil Genius – this guy sounds like a real charmer. I don’t think I would take too well to his tactics considering he sports a pistol. Glad you got out when you did and thanks for sharing.
worst job was standing at the Bay (dept store) and getting people to sign up for credit cards. I departed on friendly terms though. I quit a software job in vancouver I was a little more snooty. They asked what it would take to have me stay, I told them they’d have to match my salary, which was more than double, at the job I was taking. They declined and in the exit interview I told them what a lying bitch my boss was and how much everyone hates her for doing nothing and taking credit for other people’s work (like mine).